Tag Archives: cross-cultural living

cross-cultural living

There’s no place like home!

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Lunch before leaving the hospital – don’t I look thrilled?

Monday night was a long night. I think I had been so in and out all day Monday that I just wasn’t very sleepy when night came. Add to that the elements of being in the hospital with a lot of activity around, and two other people in the room, and it just made for a long night.

I got up Tuesday morning and made my way down the hall to the patient cafeteria. This was quite different from my experiences in American hospitals! The nurse will gladly bring food to your room when you aren’t up to moving around, but I was encouraged to try and start walking a bit so I could be discharged. So I had a bite to eat and then went back to my room, exhausted but happy with the progress.

Zack dropped the boys off at school and then came to the hospital. We sat around a bit, and then I had a meeting and exam with the doctor, who said I could go home after lunch. I managed to get myself dressed while Zack went downstairs and fill my prescriptions, and then he accompanied to the cafeteria.

Around 13.00/1:00 PM Tuesday afternoon I was released and we made our way home. Again, exhausting is the best word that comes to mind. Everything is exhausting right now. But I slept much better last night, and I feel a bit more energetic today. I’m trying to get up and move every hour or so, and each time it gets a little better. I just keep reminding myself that this will take a while!

cross-cultural living

Surgery: let’s try this again / Operasjon: en gang til

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SURGERY RESCHEDULED…As you may have read on a previous post (here), I was supposed to have surgery in early December. But it didn’t happen. I was third on the schedule, and apparently the two before me took longer than expected.

I’ve been anxiously waiting on word from the hospital regarding my rescheduled date. We left for our time in Hungary and I still hadn’t heard anything. But as we arrived home yesterday we checked the mail, and there it was! I am on the schedule for January 19. And based on the time that I have to be there, it looks like I’m early on the schedule, too.

So here we go again! I’ll keep you all posted…

stories

What next? / New year, new opportunities

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Just a few hours ago, we found ourselves sitting at the airport in Budapest, with some time to spare before we departed for home. While Zack and Daniel explored shops and walked around, William and I talked about setting goals for 2015. Lots of things were discussed, including reading the Bible more, social goals (cross-cultural living can often make you a bit less social), family time, and improving areas of our lives.

What is it about the changing of the calendar that gives us the feeling of wanting to and even the motivation that we need to change, or refocus, to start something new, or to put something behind us? As we say goodbye to one year and hello to another, why is it that most people take time to evaluate and reflect?

Now don’t get me wrong. I do like the idea of looking at a new year as a blank page filled with opportunity and promise. There are definitely things I want to focus on and things I need to set aside.

But the reality is I want – and need – to do this every day. Each day is filled with opportunity. Each time I wake, I am given the chance to choose.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. (Psalms 3:5 HCSB)
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:23 NLT)
But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. (Psalms 42:8 NLT)

So for 2015, I choose to approach each day in search of opportunities to show kindness, to put love into action, to be an encouragement, to learn from my mistakes, to use wisely what I’ve been given, and to be open about my struggles.

The last few months have especially revealed to me the importance of that last item. I have always been quick to share when things are going well. But when I open up about what I’m struggling with, it leaves me vulnerable. However, I’m learning that my vulnerability is minuscule in comparison to what else can happen.

My openness often allows others to know they are not alone. We joke that misery loves company, but I think it is so valuable to know you are not alone in your valley, and to have someone to walk along with. And almost without fail, people who have previously faced similar experiences will share and encourage me.
Opening up also shows that life isn’t always sunshine and roses. Sometimes it helps others understand the not-so-glamorous side of living outside of your passport country – and maybe gives them some insight into what other friends might be dealing with.
And this openness gives me the opportunity to share my faith, and God the opportunity to demonstrate His goodness to a broader audience, whether it be through the removal of the challenge, or through the way He sustains me in spite of the challenge. I want to be open to God using me to demonstrate who He is, regardless of how He chooses to do so.I also have a couple of concrete goals I want to focus on, but I believe they will contribute to these goals and this new frame of mind for the new year.

Do you like to set goals or make resolutions as you enter a new year? Are there things you will be trying in 2015? Habits you will try to leave behind in 2014? How will you approach this new year and these new opportunities?
cross-cultural living

So disconnected (I unfriend you!)

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We typically don’t realize how disconnected we are from American culture. That is, until someone from the US comes to visit us.Case in point: this Esurance commercial (video below). We just saw it for the first time tonight. Hilarious.

Yeah, apparently we are always behind. In hearing news, seeing the latest and greatest from music or television, finding out about the newest technology (unless it’s Apple: Zack never misses any of that!), or being exposed to all the clever advertising.

But hey – at least we aren’t as disconnected as poor Beatrice!

Christmas cheer

Confessions of a cross-cultural mom: the art of goodbye

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Most of the time we love our life here. I mean, L.O.V.E. love it.

But there are some aspects of the cross-cultural/ex-pat life that are tough.

Last night, as I tried to console my 9 year old, he reminded me of one of the toughest. In between heavy sobs and rivers of tears, he cried out “I don’t want to say goodbye!”

He had just gone to bed after saying goodnight to his Gram (my mom), who has been here the past several days, and was flying back to the states this morning. And as I attempted to calm him, all I could do was hold him tight and agree.

Our lives are a series of hellos and goodbyes. Maybe that is true for everyone, but it is amplified when you live outside your passport country. We are always thrilled to have visitors. And yet, we’ve all come to the point where we recognize that every visit also means a goodbye is around the corner. We look forward to company meetings where we get to connect with coworkers from all over Europe that we haven’t seen in a long time. And those goodbyes are on a different level, as it involves a collection of families that are all accustomed to this part of life. It might be the goodbyes of visiting with friends on vacation, or the goodbye when a friend here moves back to their home country.

So if you know someone living cross-culturally, understand that goodbye can be a difficult thing. Grant them some grace if they struggle for a period after a visit or trip. It is not at all a reflection on their unhappiness in their current setting. But it is a reality of having your heart in two different places.

cross-cultural living

Home. No place like it. #expatlife

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Growing up, I remember a sign that read:

Home is where the heart is

It was just a sign then. But living the ex-pat life has really brought that phrase to life. The idea of home changes a lot when you find yourself living in five different places over the course of 6 months. (So thankful we’ve been able to call one place home for the past 15 months!) Longtime neighbors and being recognized at the local supermarket are replaced by packing, unpacking, and trying to learn your way around.Over the past year and a half, we’ve come to have this joke that one of the highest compliments we can pay someone is to tell them something feels normal. Sitting outside for dinner with our neighbors – normal. Spending time with our friends on their boat – normal. Smelling freshly mowed grass – normal. Things that are familiar from our “past life” can bring a sense of comfort.

And yet, normal also changes as you move from culture to culture.

Home is where the heart is. It is the place where we are all together, the place where we can unpack a suitcase and use our own pillows, where we can relax and breathe easy.

After almost two years of this new life, these are things we’ve learned. But I also know that when we visit the states in the future, we will have some adjustments to make and some reverse culture shock to deal with.

I just read THIS ARTICLE, and it has some really helpful and practical info for returning to your home country.

Thought I’d post it on the blog…

  1. So I can reference it when we visit America for a couple of months next year
  2. For those who might be returning to their home culture soon
  3. For those of you who have friends or family returning the states after an extended period overseas
What's it like

What’s it like: Being the new person #expatliving

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I don’t know about you, but the thought of being the new person has always brought on a lot of anxiety for me.I remember the summer before fourth grade, when my parents moved us to a new city. I left the comfort of a small private school where I knew everyone, and began public school for the first time. The first day was filled with lots of butterflies in the stomach. But I have to tell you how relieved I was when I met another girl in my class who was also a first-timer, after her first few years in private school. We quickly became friends, and remain friends now, nearly 30 years later.

Then came the bigger move, in the middle of tenth grade. After years with friends and many layers of comfort and familiarity, I had to transfer mid-school year to a new high school, an hour+ away from our old town. I knew no one. No.One. Sixteen years old, with my own car, I suddenly found myself alone again. And riding the bus. Yes, humiliating. And this was the country. So all the kids – from elementary to high school – rode on one bus together. As the bus driver blasted Billy Ray Cyrus. Every.single.day.

That transition was a bit harder, but I made it. In America, at least in my experience, people tend to be curious about the new person. They introduce themselves to you, and ask questions.

And I thought that was normal. But as with many things over the past year, I’m learning that some of what we considered ‘normal’ is really more cultural.

Foreign to Familiar
by Sarah A. Lanier

Such is the case with being the new person. Thankfully, we read about what to expect before we arrived in Norway. So it wasn’t a total surprise. But there is a difference in reading something and experiencing it firsthand…

In America, people introduce themselves to the new person. But here in Norway, the new person should not simply assume or expect the same. We’ve learned that if you want to meet people, you need to just go ahead and introduce yourself. It’s one of the cultural differences we’ve come to recognize and accept.

What is it like where you come from? Who introduces whom? Have you ever had a cross-cultural difference that created difficulties?

Related Reading: Much of this stems from the differences between Hot and Cold cultures/societies. A year or two ago, I read a book that helped me a lot in processing these differences: Foreign to Familiar: A Guide to Understanding Hot and Cold-Climate Cultures. A great read to help you recognize and hopefully avoid cross-culture misunderstandings.